The Deal With Being a Stay-at-Home Mom
The deal with being a stay-at-home mom (SAHMom), the ones who are helper-less (read: yaya-less AND maid-less), is that it gets really exhausting, and sometimes frustrating. I am one and I’m speaking from my very own experience. Seriously, SAHMoms need to have a mandatory weekly time off.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids sooo much. They’re one of the best things that have ever happened in my life. I am so grateful that I am at home with them from the moment they wake up and up to the time they go to bed at night. It’s a joy to witness firsthand their many milestones and breakthroughs. I am thankful that I am able to take care of them right away when they get sick, kiss their booboos away, and hug them when they are scared. I am blessed to have breastfed my son and continue to nurse my daughter up to this time. I love playing with them and hearing their giggles whenever I jump with them or chase them around. I am glad to be able to prepare a nice warm meal to cheer up my husband whenever he comes home after a stressful and eventful day at work. I am so privileged to homeschool my kids, despite the challenges that we encounter at times, because I not only learn with them but learn FROM them, too. I sound fulfilled, right? So, what’s the matter?
I am indeed fulfilled and deeply thankful that I get to stay at home and be with my little ones 24/7 during their formative years. I like tidying up in our little home, preparing our every meal and baon (packed snacks whenever we go out), making sure that our bills are paid on time, and managing our day-to-day and weekly schedule. I love doing all of these things, and other stuff that I have not mentioned, for our family. Wouldn’t trade these for anything in the world. But, I do get tired and overwhelmed whenever I don’t get a break and recharge. I multitask a lot, as a lot of moms do, everyday. Sometimes, I feel like an octopus because I pick up several stuff at once and do two different things at the same time. Some days, 10am feels like 5pm already, because I have picked up, washed up, wiped, changed and swept X number of times already. Add kids who would sometimes push boundaries or do things which they thought would be funny but are not. Occasionally, they would be at it at the same time or do it one after the other. Add sickness to the mix, me or them, and I would feel overstretched to the point of breaking into tears. Hiring a yaya or maid is not an option given the current state of that profession here in our country along with the many hassles (that outnumber its benefits) that come with it.
I hate it when I snap at them because of my exhaustion. I don’t want them to see me disheveled because I want them to view parenting as the most beautiful and rewarding thing in life. But then, if I always show them my bright and sunny disposition, regardless of what happens, how can I teach them that we as humans have a breaking point? That it’s fine to say that we are tired when we have done a lot?
Whenever I tell my husband that I want to take a break and have my alone time, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love him and our kids. When I said that I’m tired, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to serve our family anymore. Never! I just want to recharge. Employees have their lunch and coffee breaks for every work day. Does that mean that they hate their work and don’t want to do it anymore? Of course not! So, how can SAHMoms who do unpaid and sometimes unappreciated work day in and day out not have a break? I am blessed to have a husband who appreciates most of the things that I do for all of us. I’m grateful that he allows me to have my alone time out of the house whenever I ask for it. I plan to do this on a regular basis for better self-care. It will give me more time to reflect on my life as well as our short-term and long-term goals. It also give me ample time for writing and uninterrupted study time for our homeschool.
If you are a stay-at-home mom who took the time to read this rare post of mine concerning this topic, I pray that you get to have your much-needed break, too. It’s never wrong to ask your husband to go out on your own once a week to recharge. For me, it’s going to a nearby coffee shop to read, write, and study. Sometimes, my idea of rest is staying in the bedroom on my own and watching Netflix while the kids eat and play with their Dad in the dining room. For some, it’s having a mani-pedi, watching a movie, going to the spa, running, brisk walking, shopping, heading to the bookstore, or going on a workshop. Whatever it is Momma, go ahead and do it. When you come home to your family, I hope that you too will feel refreshed and energized, ready to face the new week ahead. GOD bless you!